Derek Page 15

  Derek kisses the side of my head. “Angel…” he starts but I shake my head. I don’t want to leave.

  I need to do this.

  I lift my hand and knock on the door; there is no going back now.

  I can hear footsteps inside the house as someone approaches, and I take a step back as the door swings open. My heart sinks at the sight of someone I used to call Dad. He is a shell of the person he used to be.

  He used to be a big guy, but now he is skin and bones, his face is sunken in, his lips are chapped, and his eyes have no life in them.

  “What do you want?” he snaps. He isn’t even looking at me, but at the floor swaying. He is high.

  “Dad.”

  His head snaps up as he finally looks at me, and my whole body is shaking with nerves as he stares at me.

  “Dad? Why are you calling me that?” he asks darkly and runs dirty fingers through his hair.

  I lick my lips, trying not to show him how scared I am of doing this. “I am your daughter, Brittany.”

  He jolts like I just shocked him, and he blinks a few times, studying me. “Well hell, I guess it is you.” He laughs and I cringe at the sight of his teeth.

  It floors me that this is what became of him. One part of me hoped that he had gotten his life together and become better, trying to be better for me. I held onto that hope, but it seems that hope was futile.

  “Come look, Ma!” he yells really loudly, and I try not to flinch as he bends over trying to catch his breath just from yelling.

  I hear a crashing sound from inside the house. I look behind him to see my mother walking through the house with a cigarette in her mouth, or I think it is a cigarette. She stumbles into my dad as she reaches the door, and he falls straight toward me. Derek lifts me out of the way before he can land on me.

  Me?

  I am stunned.

  My mother is a pale comparison to the woman she used to be; she used to look just like me and she was beautiful.

  This drug has eaten her alive.

  She looks at me, and her eyes are more clear than my father’s. He is still lying on the ground laughing.

  “Brittany?” she asks.

  I nod. “It’s me.”

  She studies me up and down before settling on my stomach. “Well shit, you have done gotten yourself pregnant at sixteen.” She takes a huge puff of her cigarette, blowing it straight in my direction.

  “Do not do that again,” Derek tells her, his voice hard, and I know he is already over it.

  Wait, did she say sixteen?

  “I’m not sixteen, I am twenty-two.”

  Her eyes widen as she looks at me again, more thoroughly, and she leans against the wall.

  “Well shit, I remember now, you and that bitch of a sister of mine left. You thought you were too good for us. She looks at me, sneering. “Look at you, all prissy looking.” Each word causes a crack in my heart. My father is managing to get up off the floor and stand next to my mother.

  I don’t say a word, mostly because what do I say?

  “My sister’s money destroyed you.” She wags her finger at me. “You never once thought of us, you left us here to rot. You bitch, I should have hit you harder.”

  One second Derek is at my side, and the next he is in my mother’s face. “Watch the next thing that comes out of your mouth if you want to keep your nasty tongue.”

  She falls to the floor in shock. My dad tries to help her up, but Derek pushes him inside the house. “You are fucking pathetic too.”

  He looks at both of them, and I touch his back. “Enjoy your fucked-up life,” Derek says. “I want to fucking plant a bullet in your heads for daring to speak to her that way. You are nothing, the only thing you did was bring that beautiful person into this world and that is it. That is the only cause for your stupid selves being alive, but you don’t see what’s good in front of you.”

  He bends down. “You are nothing, you will never be anything. You will die with that fucking pipe in your mouth, and then you will go to hell.” He stands up straight, tucking me into his side. “There is only one place for someone like you who is mean to angels.” He slams the door and carries me off the porch and straight into the truck.

  I am in shock, mind-boggled that this happened and that this was way worse than I ever imagined it would be.

  Derek is standing outside the truck, cupping my face in his hands. “I don’t want to see a single ounce of sadness on your face.” He looks down at the ground, his jaw clenched. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, baby. You are my reason for breathing, you were made for me. You are the other part of my soul, and without you I would not be complete.”

  He kisses me so softly, so sweetly, that my toes curl and I close my eyes as he rests his forehead against mine. We just breathe each other, take in this moment.

  “I love you so fucking much, angel, it hurts me. It hurts me to go an hour without seeing you.” He leans back, cupping my neck with his hand. “I am obsessed with you. You are my every thought.”

  I can’t stop the tears no matter how hard I try, and he kisses my hand, right on my ring finger. “You are to be my wife, the mother of my kids, baby. You are the best thing on this fucking earth. Those people in there are nothing, baby.”

  He smiles at me. “You are an angel on earth, baby, and I am the fucking devil.” He clenches his hand on my throat. “Together we fit perfectly.”

  “You are mine forever, baby, forever and ever.”

  I smile, putting my hand on top of his on my throat. “Yours always.”

  Epilogue

  Brittany

  Labor

  “DEREK!” I scream as my water breaks and a contraction hits at the same time. I have been having small contractions all day, and my doctor told me that I didn’t need to come in until they are more powerful.

  So we have stayed in and now my fucking water has broken; then I was hit with a powerful contraction at the same time.

  Derek jumps off of the couch and onto his knees beside me. I just ruined our couch.

  I am wearing a cute little dress because that is the only thing that fits me at the moment.

  “Get the stuff, Derek, we need to get to the hospital now,” I tell him and he takes off upstairs at a full sprint to get the stuff we have packed.

  I hold my stomach and try to breathe through the pain, but my back is killing me and don’t get me started on my ass.

  As the pain eases slightly, I lay my head back and grab another dress that I have on the arm of the couch. I was going to change into it before I left for the hospital.

  I change and sit back on the couch. I close my eyes as another contraction hits, then it hits me.

  They’re way too close together.

  Derek comes back and sets the bags by the door. “Derek, my contractions are too close.” I am scared.

  We are like twenty minutes from the hospital.

  His eyes widen and he bends over to pick me up. I get the sudden urge to push, and I swear I can feel her head.

  “Derek, I think she is coming now,” I whisper, and as another contraction hits me, I get the urge to push.

  What do I do?

  “Let me see.”

  “WHAT? No!” I try to push him away but he glares at me. “Baby, you have to!” he argues, and I let him help me lie down. He pulls up my dress, the pain causing me to sweat.

  It’s fucking horrible.

  “Shit!” I scream and I grip the pillow, pulling it over my face, screaming as loud as I can, just wanting to distract myself someway, somehow.

  “Okay baby, I can see her head.”

  “Yes, my fiancé is fixing to give birth on our fucking couch, I need an ambulance now!” he yells into the phone and gives our address before hanging up on them.

  My legs are shaking as I wrap my head around what is happening. I am more than likely going to be giving birth right here in our house.

  I hear Derek running through the house, doing God knows what, and I am
about to die from the pain, plus I need to shit something fierce.

  “AHHH!” I scream, another contraction hitting me full force. I don’t even bother trying not to push because I have to.

  “Alright angel, I am here.” Derek is holding blankets, a nose sucker thing for babies, and a pillow to put behind my back. He gets on his knees in front of me, pushing my dress up to my knees so it pools around my stomach. “Good thing you didn’t put that underwear on.” He winks and I want to strangle that smirk off of his face. Now is not the time for him to be cute.

  It’s all his fault and that beautiful dick of his.

  I fall back onto the couch, breathing hard from pushing. Derek rubs my legs, trying to stop the shaking.

  I am scared out of my mind. I’m in shock from the pain and God knows what. What If something goes wrong?

  “Shit, the gate!” Derek runs to the wall and opens the gate for the ambulance to get through to the house.

  “Another one!” I scream and I lean forward, grabbing my legs, pushing with all of my might.

  “Push baby, one more.” Derek urges softly and I clench my eyes closed.

  Then I feel her leave my body. I open my eyes to see Derek clearing her nose, and she starts screaming.

  Derek wraps her up as best he can so she stays warm, and he looks at me and moves her so I can see her face. “Our Elle is here, angel.”

  She came crashing into this world and forever, since that day, she has done just that.

  * * *

  I open my eyes, and I see the most beautiful sight before me. Derek is lying on the bed beside me, holding Elle on his bare chest.

  “Good morning.” I sigh and scoot over, resting my head on his shoulder, both of us admiring Elle. She is the most amazing, beautiful baby—she is perfect. After I gave birth on the couch, the ambulance came and I was taken to the hospital, where I was released the very next day.

  Elizabeth, our Elle, was born on August 31st at 4:00 p.m., weighed five pounds and six ounces, and was eighteen inches long. She is our tiny baby.

  She is perfectly healthy, just small. Derek has fallen in love with her as much as I have.

  She can fit in Derek’s hand; she is our little princess. “Good morning, baby.” Derek kisses the top of my head and I snuggle closer. She is a week old today.

  “You didn’t wake me,” I tell him. She is probably hungry.

  “You needed sleep, baby, you went through an ordeal and you need the sleep to heal.”

  He is such a hands-on dad. He is ready the second she cries, and it breaks his heart when she does.

  It’s so cute to see him such a pile of goo over a five-pound baby; it’s precious. Joslyn gave birth to my nephew, Mason, a few months ago, and I love that they’re so close in age. I love that so many babies are being born. She is going to have an amazing childhood with all these kids to grow up with.

  “Thank you for being understanding.” I am truly blessed. He has been so attentive to me and my needs, such a great dad to our Elle.

  He gives me the side eye. “What are you talking about, why the fuck wouldn’t I be?”

  I shrug and he is right. It’s the way it’s supposed to be, but often it isn’t the case, and it just makes me realize how blessed I am all over again.

  Elle starts to cry and I push myself up, leaning against the headboard. I take out my boob, and Derek hands me Elle. He doesn't take his eyes off of her little face as I feed her.

  “It’s amazing…” he starts, and he strokes his thumb against the back of her head. “The love I feel for her is so deep, I would do anything for her, be anything for her.” He looks at me. “I love you, angel, you just gave me the best gift.”

  He stops talking and kisses me deeply, thoroughly. “You gave me my whole heart.”

  Brittany

  Five Years Later

  Elle started kindergarten a few weeks ago, and it’s been a huge adjustment for me and Derek. It’s more so for Derek than me. Elle has been attached to his hip since the second she was born.

  We decided to wait for a couple of years before we tried for another baby, and now I am very pregnant with our second baby. This time we are having a little boy.

  Derek has checked his phone for the tenth time in case the teachers call. He is on edge every second she is away from us. The only thing that makes him feel better is that it’s a private school between the two MC towns; it has great security and it’s perfectly safe.

  “Come on angel, it’s time to leave to pick her up.” Derek walks over to help me off the couch. I have been putting my shoes on for the last ten minutes because I can’t see my feet. I am very big this time. Elle was a small baby, but this boy is going to take after Derek and be huge.

  Yay me.

  Derek parks beside Lane, who is waiting for Christopher and Tiffany. I roll down my window and wave at him.

  The doors open, and the kids run out of school. I spot Elle running with Christopher, who is holding her hand.

  “Why is he holding her hand?” Derek asks and scoots forward in his seat so he can see better.

  I roll my eyes and Lane laughs. He thinks it’s great that Christopher and Elle are so close. I personally think it’s cute. I have pictures of them from when he would come over and they would nap together holding hands.

  Christopher walks her over to the truck, and Derek gets out to help her into the vehicle. “Thank you for taking me, Christopher,” Elle says and I smile at her being a sweet baby.

  But did I mention that she has our tempers? Yeah, that is something that didn’t skip her.

  Derek lifts her into the truck and we back out, heading for home. I bring in her backpack so I can check to see if she has any homework tonight.

  She is at the bar eating a snack before dinner. “Oh yeah, mommy, the teacher wrote a note for you on top of the lunchbox. My juice tasted funny.”

  Weird.

  We let her pack her lunch today. Derek takes out her lunchbox, reading the note at the top.

  He hands it to me. “Please make sure you check her lunchbox,” the note says and I open it.

  I die.

  I stare and stare in absolute shock. My poor baby. I look at Derek, who falls to the floor, literally falls to the floor, laughing.

  My blessed, beautiful child has taken a douche to school! I had these hidden under the bathroom cabinet.

  “Baby, why did you bring this?” I ask her and she looks at me, confused, then at the douche I am holding up.

  “It’s a juice with a built-in straw, isn’t it?”

  I close my eyes, and Derek is holding his stomach. “Baby, this is not a juice. Why would you think it’s a juice if it’s under the bathroom sink?”

  She hops down onto the floor, holding her hip as she glares at me. “I don’t know, Mom, you do weird things sometimes,” she huffs and stomps her foot, looking way too much like me.

  She runs off to her bedroom, and I throw the douche into the bathroom, completely mortified. I will never be able to face her teacher again!

  “Oh my God,” I wheeze, laughing and crying at the same time. My poor, innocent baby thought it was a juice and she drank it. She thought there was something wrong with it!

  Derek manages to compose himself enough to stand up and lean over the bar, and he presses his face into the back of my neck as he continues to shake.

  “Oh my God,” I repeat over and over. I forgot I even had that. I don’t even use them, and it’s been in the back of that cabinet for God knows how long!

  “I don't what’s so funny!” She peeks her head out of the door and goes back into her room, which causes another fit of laughter.

  “She won’t ever be the same,” I whisper and Derek kisses my cheek.

  “It’s okay, baby, it’s just a good story to tell her one day.”

  I glare at him. “She will never, ever know!” I yell and he sits back on the stool, holding his stomach.

  “Baby, it’s okay.” He tugs me over and I roll my eyes. I don’t see how it
’s so funny. The teacher is probably scarred too! I can just imagine her face at the sight of my baby trying to…

  I cover my face at the images.

  “It’s fine, angel, the teacher has probably forgotten about it.” He smacks my ass before rubbing gently. I sigh and decide to just get over it. There’s nothing I can do about it now.

  The life of a parent.

  Derek

  Elle Is Seventeen

  I wake up to a small hand touching my arm, and I open my eyes to see Elle standing at my side of the bed, tears falling down her face. I look over at the clock on the nightstand; it reads 1:00 p.m.

  What the fuck?

  I sit up in bed and she takes my hand, leading me out of the room. She leads me into the bathroom in her bedroom.

  She is pale. I can tell she is scared out of her mind and that scares me. My baby isn’t like this. The last couple of weeks she has been different, but I thought it was just a teenage mood swing. I have asked, but I knew she would come to me if she needed me.

  She sits down on the edge of the tub, staring at the floor.

  I sit down on the floor in front of her. “Baby girl, what’s the matter?” I ask her, and she shakes her head before covering her face.

  “Dad, I think I’m pregnant.”

  My whole world tilts on its axis. Never in a million years would I have expected this. My first thought is to be angry, but I count to ten and try to remain calm. She trusted me enough to tell me, enough to know she felt safe telling me.

  “Baby, why do you think you’re pregnant?” I try to make my voice as soft as possible.

  Her eyes are filled with tears. “Remember prom? I stayed all night with one of my friends? Well, she had a party. I don't know what happened. I was dancing with this boy, and the next thing I know I wake up the next morning. I don’t know what happened.”

  She shakes her head as her words sink in, crushing my entire world. I am sick to my stomach. “Angel,” I whisper and she wraps her arms around my neck, crying.